The Mock Turtle's Story
"You're thinking about something, my dear, and that makes you forget to talk. I can't tell you just now what the moral of that is, but I shall remember it in a bit."
"Very true," said the Duchess; "flamingoes and mustard both bite. And the moral of that is - 'Birds of a feather flock together.'"
"Just about as much right," said the Duchess, "as pigs have to fly; and the m- "
They very soon came upon a Gryphon, lying fast asleep in the sun. (if you don't know what a Gryphon is, look at the picture.)
They had not gone far before they saw the Mock Turtle in the distance, sitting sad and lonely on a little ledge of rock...
So they sat down, and nobody spoke for some minutes.
"Ah! Then yours wasn't a really agood school," said the Mock Turtle, in a tone of great relief. "Now at ours they had at the end of the bill, 'French, music, and washing - extra.'"
...the Drawling master was an old conger-eel, that used to come once a week; he taught as Drawling, Stretching and Fainting in Coils."
(Lewis Carroll verwendet hier Kalauers)
"That's the reason they're called lessons," the Gryphon remarked, "because they lessen from day to day."
This was quite a new idea to Alice, and she thought it over a little before she made her next remark. "Then the eleventh day must have been a holyday?"
The Lobster Quadrille.
"Then, you know," the Mock Turtle went on, "you throw the -"
"The lobsters!" shouted the Gryphon, with a bound into the air.
"-as far out to sea as you can -"
"Swim after them!" screamed the Gryphon.
So they began solemnly dancing round and round Alice, every now and then treading on her toes when they passed to close...while the Mock Turtle sang this, very slowly and sadly: -
"Will you walk a little faster?" said a whitting to a snail;
"Do you know why it's called a whiting?"
"I never thoughjt about it," said Alice. "Why'"
"It does the boots and the shoes," the Gryphon replied very solemnly.
‘I passed by his garden, and marked, with one eye,
How the Owl and the Panther were sharing a pie—’
The Panther took pie-crust, and gravy, and meat,
While the Owl had the dish as its share of the treat.
When the pie was all finished, the Owl, as a boon,
Was kindly permitted to pocket the spoon:
While the Panther received knife and fork with a growl,
And concluded the banquet—]
Soo—oop of the e—e—evening,
Beautiful, beautiful Soup!
Who Stole the Tarts?
... and shecould even make out that one of them didn’t know how to spell ‘stupid,’
and that he had to ask his neighbour to tell him.
One of the jurors had a pencil that squeaked. This of course, Alice could
not stand, and she went round the court and got behind him, and very soon
found an opportunity of taking it away. She did it so quickly that the
poor little juror (it was Bill, the Lizard) could not make out at all what
had become of it; so, after hunting all about for it, he was obliged to
write with one finger for the rest of the day; and this was of very little
use, as it left no mark on the slate.
‘Herald, read the accusation!’ said the King.
On this the White Rabbit blew three blasts on the trumpet,...
‘Give your evidence,’ said the King; ‘and don’t be nervous, or I’ll have
you executed on the spot.’
This did not seem to encourage the witness at all: he kept shifting from
one foot to the other, looking uneasily at the Queen, and in his confusion
he bit a large piece out of his teacup instead of the bread-and-butter.
‘I deny it!’ said the March Hare.
‘He denies it,’ said the King: ‘leave out that part.’
Here one of the guinea-pigs cheered, and was immediately suppressed by the
officers of the court.
They had a large canvas bag, which tied up at the
mouth with strings: into this they slipped the guinea-pig, head first, and
then sat upon it
‘You may go,’ said the King, and the Hatter hurriedly left the court,
without even waiting to put his shoes on.
‘—and just take his head off outside,’ the Queen added to one of the
officers: but the Hatter was out of sight before the officer could get to
the door.
The next witness was the Duchess’s cook. She carried the pepper-box in her
hand, and Alice guessed who it was, even before she got into the court, by
the way the people near the door began sneezing all at once.
‘Give your evidence,’ said the King.
‘Shan’t,’ said the cook.
For some minutes the whole court was in confusion, getting the Dormouse
turned out, and, by the time they had settled down again, the cook had
disappeared.
Alice’s Evidence
Alice looked at the jury-box, and saw that, in her haste, she had put the
Lizard in head downwards, and the poor little thing was waving its tail
about in a melancholy way, being quite unable to move.
At this moment the King, who had been for some time busily writing in his
note-book, cackled out ‘Silence!’ and read out from his book, ‘Rule
Forty-two.
All persons more than a mile high to leave the court.’
‘Never!’ said the Queen furiously, throwing an inkstand at the Lizard as
she spoke.
The unfortunate little Bill had left off writing on his slate
with one finger, as he found it made no mark; but he now hastily began
again, using the ink, that was trickling down his face, as long as it
lasted.
